Self help topic

Concerned about your online behaviour

Self-help, information and support to stop viewing sexual images of children or having sexual conversations with children.

Understanding online behaviour

This section will help you understand how you behave online, why you do it, and what might be a problem. It will help you see if you’re doing things that could hurt you or others. When you finish the modules, it will help you see how your online actions affect your life and relationships. This can lead to using the internet in a healthier and more responsible way, so you don’t harm anyone and prevent you from offending.

  • Viewing sexual images

    If you print, make, produce, reproduce, copy, publish, possess and/or view any online image, content or video of a person under the age of 16 (or any person depicted as a child) which is of a pornographic or sexual nature, regardless of whether the child is nude, semi-nude or clothed, you may commit an offence in Hong Kong. The authorities may investigate the possession of multiple images of children. If you are unsure about the age of someone in an online image, content or video of a pornographic or sexual nature, then you should not view it. Not knowing the age is not an excuse.

  • Sexual drawings and artificial Intelligence generated images

    Images generated by artificial intelligence (AI) or other software and sexual drawings that show children or child-like characters are also illegal in Hong Kong (see Cap. 579 Prevention of Child Pornography Ordinance). This includes manga and anime showing sexual abuse of children.

    Viewing such material can go together with thoughts that minimise or legitimise the viewing, such as ‘It’s not a real child, so it’s okay’. However, we know from our experience of working with people who look at sexual material involving children that their online behaviour can escalate and that the thoughts that give permission to such behaviour play a role in that. There is also a reinforcement of sexual attraction through viewing, gaining sexual pleasure and masturbating to thoughts/images.

    If you have been using sexual drawings or other AI or computer-generated material showing child sexual abuse, we recommend that you work through our self-help modules. You could make a start with the Understanding Why module to explore your progression to viewing sexual material with children and your motivations behind it, and the Fantasy module to learn which sexual fantasies are inappropriate for you and how you can manage them.

  • Sexual communication

    If you are talking sexually to people online, you should always ask their age. If anyone says they are under 16 you should stop the conversation immediately, it doesn’t matter if you think they are older or that it is part of a fantasy. This is illegal and the Police will always prosecute if you continue to talk sexually to someone who states they are under 16.

Many people who have engaged in online sexual behaviour involving children believe that there is a ‘grey area’ between what is legal and illegal. There is not. These self-help modules will help you better understand your online behaviour.

Find out more about Hong Kong law here.

Taking control of your online behaviour

This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding your level of control over your current online sexual behaviours, how you have used denial to allow your problematic behaviour to continue and how to make immediate changes to start the change process.

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    Triggers: taking control
    How does feeling out of control affect your mood?

    Changes
    It is important that you recognise that making changes can be hard and so people can easily go back into old habits.

    Reflection: taking control of your online behaviour
    Has this module raised any further questions for you or made you want to explore any ideas further?

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Understanding why

If you are concerned about your worrying or illegal online sexual behaviour and want to stop this behaviour, it is important for you to learn as much as possible about yourself and what you are doing.

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    Understanding why
    If you are concerned about your worrying or illegal online sexual behaviour and want to stop this behaviour, it is important for you to learn as much as possible about yourself and what you are doing.

    Exercise 1: internet use
    You might already have some understanding of why you have been or are tempted to behave illegally online.

    Exercise 2: timeline
    The second exercise is in three parts and looks back over your life to help you think about how you started behaving illegally online.

    Reflection: understanding why
    As with the introduction to this module, using the table below, write down your current level of knowledge and understanding about your online behaviour.

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Triggers

This module will help you understand, different types of triggers and your own triggers

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    Triggers
    A ‘trigger’ is also called a cue, prompt or call to action.

    Situational and environmental risks
    Some places and situations present specific risks and triggers for people, for example being alone at home late at night with internet access.

    Reflection: triggers
    Think about the triggers you have identified.

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Problems of immediate gratification

This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding of why immediate gratification is so powerful and how to manage the desire of immediate gratification.

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    Problem of immediate gratification
    Understand why you prioritised your immediate needs despite the consequences

    Problem of immediate gratification – reflection

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Online world

Sexual offending happens in the offline and online world. But some people we work with often tell us they would not have offended without the internet, apps or smartphones.

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    Online world
    Sexual offending happens in the offline and online world.

    Online behaviour
    Some people we work with say they behaved in a way online that they wouldn’t have done in the offline world.

    Online relationships
    We all have an idea of how we come across to other people.

    Exercise: So what is the problem with online relationships?
    When we engage with people online and form friendships, it is usually around something specific, for example the sexual images of children.

    Exercise: Online world
    Some people don’t have as many offline relationships as they would like.

    Reflection: online world
    Think about what has prompted you to take action

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Fantasy

This module will help you explore and understand your current sexual and non-sexual fantasies, and the link between your fantasies and your online behaviour

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    Fantasy
    Fantasies can be about a range of different things and everybody will have their own reasons for engaging in a fantasy

    Exercise: When fantasy becomes a problem
    A good starting point in considering if your fantasies are problematic is to look at your fantasies in more detail.

    Appropriate versus inappropriate fantasy
    So what are appropriate and inappropriate fantasies? We split inappropriate fantasies into three sections

    Exercise: Fantasy knowledge
    Understanding the issues around fantasy

    Exercise: Inappropriate fantasy
    Fantasies do not automatically lead to behaviours, but they do increase your likeliness of wanting to ‘play out’ particular fantasies.

    Exercise: a fantasy management technique
    Many individuals use fantasy management techniques to help stop having these harmful sexual fantasies.

    Reflection: fantasy
    What have you learnt about your fantasies?

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Adult pornography

If you are viewing legal adult pornography then this is your choice and we are not here to shame you for using it or to tell you to stop. But this self-help section will encourage you to think about whether viewing legal adult pornography is helpful or harmful for you.

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    Adult pornography
    If you are viewing legal adult pornography then this is your choice and we are not here to shame you for using it or to tell you to stop.

    When viewing adult pornography becomes a problem
    People who think that the way they look at adult pornography is out of their control might say it is like an addiction to alcohol or drugs.

    What is a trigger?
    A trigger is something that affects how you are feeling, which then affects how you behave.

    Drivers
    Many people have problems with limiting the amount of time they spend viewing adult pornography or how often they view it.

    Managing your adult pornography use
    If you decide it would be helpful for you to reduce your use of adult pornography, or stop looking at it completely, then here are some changes you can make to help.

    Self-care and tips
    Feeling negative effects when you give up pornography is normal.

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Addiction

This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding of how you can start to address your addictions.

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    Addiction
    What do we mean by a compulsion or addictive behaviour?

    It’s not my fault?
    Wrong – the first time you engaged in illegal online sexual behaviour, you knew it was wrong, you weren’t addicted then but you went back and did it again.

    Dealing with addiction
    It is really important to look at the motivation for your behaviour and the emotions you are avoiding.

    Reflection: addiction
    Reflect back on what you have learnt about addiction.

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Problematic collecting

This module aims to help you to explore and gain understanding of why you collect, how it links to your offending and the relationship between collecting and some of the unsatisfactory aspects of your life.

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    Problematic collecting
    For some people, collecting – and cataloguing, organising and all the other stuff that goes with it – can seem a big part of their offending.

    Exercise 2: when collecting is a problem
    If you are collecting sexual images of children, then this is always a problem because it is harmful to both you and the children in the images.

    Exercise 3: why collect sexual images of children
    Of all the things you could collect, why collect sexual images of children?

    Exercise 4: justifications
    A lot of people will have known that their collecting was wrong, but still continued to do it anyway.

    Reflection: problematic collecting
    What have you learnt about yourself? What are you going to do?

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Images are children

This module will help you understand the false justifications offenders use to avoid responsibility for their actions, that these images are of real children being abused and the effects of being photographed on the children in the image.

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    Images are children
    It’s likely that you will have used self-justifications to persuade yourself that it is ok to allow yourself to view sexual images of children.

    Exercise 1: understanding and responding to justifications
    For people to allow themselves to view sexual images of children, they will generally be using a number of self-justifications to persuade themselves that it is ok to do what they are doing.

    Consent
    ‘Consent’ means to give permission for something to happen.

    Exercise 2: Empathy
    ‘Empathy’ means trying to understand what another person is thinking and feeling, or “putting yourself into their shoes”.

    The effects on the child
    Psychologists have tried to look at what it means to the child to be photographed and for these photographs to be used in a sexual way.

    Exercise 3: effects on you
    Consider how you would feel about how close you could get to the child abuse taking place.

    Images are children: reflection
    Your level of knowledge and understanding around your awareness of the child abuse taking place in these images.

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Sexual communication with children online

This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding of your motivation for engaging sexually with children online, how your behaviour progressed into sexual communication and how you might have justified your behaviour.

  • View module chapters

    Sexual communication with children online
    Sexual communication with a child is often referred to as online grooming.

    The different groups
    Some people tell us that their interaction with children was not only motivated by sex.

    Different stages
    In order to understand more about how to avoid situations which may lead to you communicating sexually with a child in the future.

    The cycle of online grooming
    Some people find it more helpful to think of their behaviour as following a repeated pattern rather than, for example, the stages set out above.

    The child’s perspective
    Many people do not believe they are harming children when they communicate with them sexually on the internet.

    Reflection: sexual communication with children online
    Understanding more about your behaviour online can help you to consider what changes you need to make to stop the behaviour and move forward positively.

Visit the UK Module

More self-help topics available

Self-help, information and support on how to continue moving forward, disclose your offending and build a fulfilling life.

Moving forward

Self-help, information and support for people troubled by their sexual thoughts about children and young people.

Your thoughts or behaviour

These sections will help you learn healthy ways to communicate, express yourself and challenge negative self-talk to improve your self-esteem.

Wellbeing and self-care
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